As soon as I committed to a Costco checkout line, I noticed the cashier, and thought: “Oh, it’s him, the guy who commented on my t-shirt the last two times I’ve been in his line.” I immediately checked which t-shirt I had on and was thankful it wasn’t my PLAYS UNDER PRESSURE one — the one I’d had on both times I’d previously gone through his line.
Sure enough, when I got to the register he said, “I like your shirt. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a man with a pumpkin head, though.”
“Thanks,” I said. “Apparently he’s famous on YouTube, which I only found out after about 10 “kids” told me they like my shirt, and I finally asked one of them, “Is this a famous person or something?”
I had no idea about the pumpkin man dance pop-culture phenomenon when I bought that t-shirt from 6 Dollar Shirts [sic]. I just bought it to wear on the 2023 Ultimate Disco Cruise, because the pose of the pumpkin man had immediately reminded me of:
Then I remembered that this cashier also likes to yammer while he rings you up (which I don’t love), and that he fancies himself as funny. Sure enough, after the shirt comment, he starts:
“What kind of bee can’t make a decision in springtime?”
“I don’t know.”
“A May bee.”
Then another:
“Earlier today, I was driving behind an ambulance when a cooler fell off the back. I stopped and opened it up to find a foot inside. So, I decided to call a toe-truck.”
Lest I be unarmed in a battle of wits, I said:
“What’s better than a candelabra on your piano?”
“I don’t know, what?”
“Tulips on your organ.”
Him, after a 2-second processing delay: “Ha! Nobody’s gonna argue with that!