My last wishes

I believe in being prepared, and well, there is that matter of my extremely short lifeline. This is the final preparation. You laugh, but if you’re named the executor to my estate, you’ll be thanking me. This information is not a desperate attempt to be in control even after I’m dead, though that thought does appeal to me. It’s a gift to those left in charge.


I have these documents on hand. Do you?

Last wishes
  • It is my preference to not have any kind of memorial service or be eulogized in any way.
  • It is my wish that any or all organs be donated. My driver’s license indicates such.
  • It is my wish to be cremated. I have a pre-paid cremation plan with the Cremation Society of the Carolinas. My plan includes “Repatriation of human remains” coverage to get my remains home if I die while away.
  • If it’s necessary to purchase some kind of container in which to cremate me, it’s my wish that the cheapest one available be used.
  • I have no particular wish for anything to be done with my ashes; however, it is my wish to not have them kept anywhere where it will be necessary to pay someone for their perpetual care. If no one wants any, just leave them in the incinerator.
  • It is my wish to not have flowers a part of any remembrance in my honor, instead make a donation in my name to Buddies for Life, Inc., P.O. Box 536393, Orlando, FL 32853 or to WCPE, The Classical Station Box 828, Wake Forest, NC 27588.
  • A backyard happy hour or party, if Bob (or anyone else) feels like throwing one, would be swell.


Late Fragment by Raymond Carver

And did you get what you wanted from this life even so?
I did.
And what did you want?
To call myself beloved, to feel myself beloved on the earth.

John Martin, [insert age here], will be burnt to a crisp on [insert date here]. John died as a result of [insert here what the people came to find out]. Arrangements are being handled by the Cremation Society of the Carolinas. John had a keen sense of humor, a quick wit, and lived a full, and fulfilled, life. Being an avid obituary reader, he authored his own.

John earned an undergraduate degree in Math & Computer Science and a graduate degree in Technical Communication. For most of his professional career, he was a technical writer and editor, including 20+ years at IBM and 8 years at Red Hat. In 2014 at age 57, he retired for a little over a year, but returned to work as circumstances in his life warranted it. He retired again, and for good, in 2022 on the day of his 65th birthday.

Writing was his passion, and he was a published author as well as a committed blogger. His writings, including his blog, can be found at He once took a year off work to write a novel, which lead to his living the life he was put here to live. He said shortly after coming out, “How profoundly sad it would have been to have lived my entire life here not being who I really was.”

He is survived by his husband, Robert Anthony McVeigh; his sister, Vivian Covington, and her husband, Jeff; and a host of beloved people in his life. He is predeceased by his parents, Manuel and Pauline Martin.

John expressed in his last wishes that in the place of flowers a donation be made in his name to Buddies for Life, P.O. Box 536393, Orlando, FL 32853 or to WCPE, The Classical Station Box 828, Wake Forest, NC 27588.