Our month on Cape Cod—day 28

~Friday~ It was a post-celebration and drizzly day, and after a ride up to Provincetown, we mostly just chilled.

In P-town, we stopped at the Pilgrims First Landing Spot, and then drove slowly down the narrow main street, which is called Commercial Street.

[T]though many in this country know the story of the Mayflower, some might be confused about where the band of Pilgrims landed.

Many people would likely say that the Pilgrims landed at a spot to be known as Plymouth. True, the Pilgrims did land at Plymouth, dubbing it originally ‘New Plymouth,” since they departed from Plymouth, England.

But Plymouth was not the Pilgrims’ first landing spot in the New World.

Five weeks before coming ashore in Plymouth, the Pilgrims docked in at what is today Provincetown Harbor. In fact, the first written document alluding to government in the new colony, the Mayflower Compact, was signed by 41 Pilgrims while still aboard the ship in Provincetown Harbor.

Of course, with it being off season and the time of COVID, Commercial Street looked nothing like this, as it has when I’ve been there in the past. Happy times.


And there was no “Tea Dance” (gay people’s happy hour) at The Boatslip, where it’s usually “nuts to butts” with men:


Back at the house, we had a delicious vegetable soup that Vivian had made and brought, and Bob whipped up some delectable grilled cheese sandwiches to go with it.

Naps may have happened in the afternoon, followed by a light-alcohol happy hour, but with enough nibblies that we skipped dinner.

And since Jeff and Vivian are heading back in the morning, Vivian, Bob, and I only played Scrabble, forgoing a Catch Phrase game so Vivian and Jeff could get to bed early for their early-morning departure.


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Our month on Cape Cod—day 27

~Thursday~ We started the day-long celebration of Vivian’s 60th birthday with a trip to the Chatham Pier Fish Market for a lobster roll.

Restaurant sign
Chatham Pier chairs
Chatham Pier menu
Vivian and Jeff

Our feeding frenzy included—Vivian and John enjoying the buttered lobster roll, Bob enjoying the grilled salmon burger, and Jeff enjoying the regular lobster roll:

Buttered Lobster Roll: Fresh lobster meat tossed in warm butter
Grilled Salmon Burger: Fresh salmon burger, lettuce, avocado, and lemon aioli on a brioche bun
Lobster Roll: Fresh steamed lobster meat with a touch of mayo

Vivian’s birthday festivities:
Vivian with Dom Perignon and shot glass necklace

Slice of lemon birthday cake with candle Vivian blowing out candle
Dom Perignon bottle Dom Perignon bottle with poppers

A Dom Perignon toast to the birthday girl

We also made a video, complete with a hanging birthday sign, happy birthday music in the background, birthday glasses (trigger warning for epileptics) with blinking candle frames, and a birthday hat for the honoree. There is also inadvertent running commentary in the background.

We were going to edit it, but ended up just posting it in its entirety. I can’t easily embed a video here, but if you’re a Facebook friend of John, Bob, Vivian, or Jeff you can watch it there.


John, Bob, and Vivian ended the night with yet another game of Scrabble and Catch Phrase.


Today was a good day.


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Our month on Cape Cod—day 26

~Wednesday~ With more reading after visiting that cemetery on Sunday, I realized that that’s not the cemetery where those 3 Mayflower passengers were buried. To that end, Vivian and I went looking for the “real” Cove Burying Ground, which was a couple of miles away from the one we went to on Sunday.

Cove Burying Ground: “This is the oldest cemetery in Eastham, MA (Cape Cod) and very historical. Most of the people buried there are related to Mayflower families and were instrumental in the founding of the area.”

Giles Hopkins
Born: 30 Jan 1607 | Hursley, City of Winchester, Hampshire, England
Died: 26 Apr 1690 (aged 83) | Eastham, Barnstable County, Massachusetts, USA
Buried: Cove Burying Ground | Eastham, Barnstable County, Massachusetts, USA

Constance Hopkins Snow
Born: 11 May 1606 | Hampshire, England
Died: Oct 1677 (aged 71) | Eastham, Barnstable County, Massachusetts, USA
Buried: Cove Burying Ground | Eastham, Barnstable County, Massachusetts, USA

Lt. Joseph Rogers
Born: 23 Jan 1602 | Watford, Daventry District, Northamptonshire, England
Died: 15 Jan 1678 (aged 75) | Eastham, Barnstable County, Massachusetts, USA
Buried: Cove Burying Ground | Eastham, Barnstable County, Massachusetts, USA

Other interesting graves we saw there included:

Here lies the body of Mrs. Hannah Snow the wife of Mr. Silvenus Snow, died August 1750 in the 37th year of her age.
Here lies buried the body of Mrs. Mary Knowls wife to Col. John Knowls, died Nov. 7, 1745 in the 73rd year of her age.
John Doane—deacon of the church, deputy to the general court, and one of the assistants to the governor.

While Vivian and I were out, we stopped at The General Store to see if they had any tchotchkes and for Vivian to check out the “penny candy.” She bought a refrigerator magnet and a Charleston Chew.

Our next stop was at the liquor store attached to The Superette, where Vivian was in hot pursuit of a bottle of red wine and some Narragansett beer, which is to say we hit the jackpot!

A quintessential “Fall River beer,” and one my dad drank all the time
Narragansett 12-pack
Narragansett can

Mid-afternoon, Bob and Vivian went for a 2-mile walk and reported back with some pictures:


For dinner, we cooked chicken, zucchini, and chouriço on the grill, having the chicken and zucchini for dinner tonight (with a few bites of chouriço) and some green beans for Jeff.


We ended the evening with a game of Scrabble followed by a game of Catch Phrase.


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Our month on Cape Cod—day 25

~Tuesday~ It was a beautiful weather day to take the ferry to Martha’s Vineyard. We drove down to Falmouth (about an hour) to catch the ferry from Woods Hole to Vineyard Haven.

The Steamship Authority ferry
Ferry boat picture
From the top deck
Top deck close
Also from the top deck
Top deck out
The mast
The mast
The mask
The masked man
Fairies on the ferry
The masked men
Arriving at Martha’s Vineyard
Approaching Vineyard Haven

We arrived in Vineyard Haven, walked around for just a little bit, where we found most things closed—between it being off-season (their season ended October 28) and with COVID-19 negatively affecting some of the few places that might otherwise have been open.
Vineyard Haven map
We caught “the city bus” from Vineyard’s Haven to Edgartown hoping to find more things open there, including a place to eat lunch.
Edgartown map

A couple of Edgartown businesses we passed, in what turned out to an arduous search for an open lunch place, included:

The Covington Restaurant and Bar
The Covington
The Boneyard Surf Shop (pirates are everywhere)
The Boneyard

Bob took a peek into Edgartown Books:

Edgartown Books’ staircase
Edgartown Books’ extensive Martha’s Vineyard collection

And we did finally find a place open for lunch:

Espresso Love restaurant

where John got the Turkey Club, Bob got the Chicken Avocado BLT:

Espresso Love sandwiches
Vivian had their grilled chicken, havarti, & pesto sandwich, and Jeff had their chicken salad sandwich.


We got home after dark and had a “robust”—of both drinks and snacks—happy hour, and then we just had some clam chowder for dinner, before John, Bob, and Vivian played a game of Scrabble:
Completed Scrabble board
and then tried a piece of that maple walnut fudge that Bob and Vivian made, which was ready and cut up into 1-inch, 81-calorie-each squares.

Done fudge
Sliced fudge

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Our month on Cape Cod—day 24

~Monday~ We made the 1.5-hour drive to Fall River and back where Vivian and I showed Jeff and Bob many of the places we lived in that city.

Fall River is where both of our parents and their families are from, and we moved around a lot in that area as my dad did a one-year tour of duty in Vietnam and then was on “recruiting duty” (for the United States Marine Corp) and moved to wherever they needed a recruiter next.

Here are the houses we visited today:

914 Eastern Avenue | Fall River, MA | February 1961 – January 1963. While we lived here, John was 4-6 years old and Vivian was 1-3 years old. The street to the left side of the house (in the first picture) seemed like a very steep hill at the time, and John rode his new bike down it one time, gaining so much speed that he made a sharp turn into a driveway to try and slow down, lost control, and crashed with the handle bar going through his left (face) cheek. He still has the scar to prove it, because dad didn’t think it was worth going for stitches about it and just taped it together.

Front entrance
Side entrance

72 Dover Street | Fall River, MA | November 1964 – December 1964 and June 1966 – July 1966. We lived here the first time was when John was 7 and Vivian was 4, and the second time was when John was 8 and Vivian was 5. Our vovó (“vah-voh”) and vovô (“vah-voo”) owned this 3-story house—where they lived on the first floor, our aunt Vivian (my dad’s sister) lived on the 2nd floor, and our uncle Eddie and Aunt Laura lived on the 3rd floor—and we stayed with my grandparents for these 2 short periods of time until we found a house of our own to live in while dad did each of his 1-year tours of duty in Vietnam.

The 3-story view
This front porch used to be screened-in, and my grandfather sat on it a lot, sometimes playing his mandolin
Apparently a Martin (no relation) still resides on one floor of the house
We used to get “penny candy” from “Mr. Harris” at this store a hundred years ago

22B Carver Street | Fall River, MA. Our mémère and pépère, our maternal grandparents, lived here for a while, and it was virtually “around the corner” from my paternal grandparents’ house on Dover street. Their address was “22B” and it was the bottom right apartment.

56 Howland Street | Fall River, MA | July 1966 – December 1968. While we lived here, John was 9-10, and Vivian was 6-7. We remember a “mean landlord,” Mr. Daniels, who lived on the first floor of this house, while we rented the second floor from him. We went in that door to the right, which had the stairs to the upstairs just inside of it. Vivian remembers friends of hers while we lived here named “Norene and Dorene” and whose fingers were fused—two of their own fingers fused together, not one of Norene’s fingers fused to Dorene.

45 Breezy Lake Drive | Coventry, RI | December 1968 – December 1969. While we lived here, John was 11, and Vivian was 8. We lived in this split-level house for a year while my dad was in Vietnam the second time. My aunt Annette (my mother’s sister) and her husband, Uncle Frank, lived in the downstairs, which had been closed off as its own apartment. All the while (and for a total of 30 years), my uncle was building the house next door. He was a stone mason, and he cut each individual stone of the exterior of the house to fit together like a jigsaw puzzle. There are a couple of other pictures of the house in this old posting of John’s. Breezy Lake was behind these houses and we had lots of fun ice skating on it.

The split level next door
The house that Uncle Frank built

Other places from our childhood that we visited today included:

Nick’s
This is a hot dog place we lived for as children, and one of the things we missed most moving down south. Sad, but true.

St. John’s Club
St John’s Club is “the Portuguese club” that my dad belonged to for years and years, and where he was sort-of a “local hero” (being a Marine, going off to war and back). There were 2 sides to the club, the bar (where only men could go), and the restaurant side, which included a jukebox that Vivian and I used to do The Salty Dog Rag and a line dance to a couples dance to Winchester Cathedral. Today, we ordered some steamed clams and some chourico (Portuguese sausage) sandwiches, 2 of our childhood favorites.

Notre Dame Cemetery
We brought Vivian and Jeff by to visit our grandparents, who Bob and I had visited the first week we were here.

Paternal grandparents
Maternal grandparents

We had a full day and completely forgot about visiting the Lizzy Borden house, about which we’re okay.


Back at the house, we played a game of Scrabble, skipped dinner in favor of appetizers, and later played some Catch Phrase.

Bob, John, & Vivian’s Scrabble game
A peach and jalapeño cheese ball

On our way out of Fall River, we dropped by to see our Aunt Vivian and Uncle Nibby, spending about a half hour sitting in their driveway catching up with them. So nice.


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Our month on Cape Cod—day 23

~Sunday~ We showed Vivian and Jeff the Nauset Light lighthouse and beach, and they re-created the Cape Cod chip bag pic, and then we stopped by the Eastham Windmill and Memorial Buoy Tree.

Vivian, Jeff, Nauset Light
Vivian, Jeff, windmill

We had lunch at home, and then walked around the Evergreen Congressional & Soldiers Cemetery, marks the site of Eastham’s second meeting house and town center in the same way that the Cove Cemetery marks the location of the original meeting house and settlement.

There was a lot going on at this gravesite. The little animal in the right picture is a “zoom in” of one of those in the trees in the left picture.



A Bob-and-Vivian afternoon project. Today, this looks like a square pan of baked beans, but tomorrow it’s going to be obvious that it’s maple walnut fudge.


Tomorrow we’ll all be heading to “the homestead”—Fall River, Massachusetts, where we’ll drive around and look at these houses we used to live in in the area:

  • 72 Dover Street (where my paternal grandparents lived)
  • 22B Carver Street (where my maternal grandmother lived in her later years)
  • 914 Eastern Avenue
  • 56 Howland Street
  • Warren Street
  • 45 Breezy Lake Drive (Coventry, RI)

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Our month on Cape Cod—day 22

~Saturday~ We’ll always remember where we were when we heard the official declaration of President-elect Joe Biden and Vice-President-elect Kamala Harris.


We took a walk on the Cape Code Rail Trail, the first time I’ve been on it, and Bob’s fourth. We had beautiful weather for it with a high of 71° today.

This is mostly a biking trail, and in fact, we only saw one other person walking (her dog) the whole time. We were passed by many bikers, with maybe only a third of them giving us a verbal “Coming up on your left” warning, but no one being dangerous in any way. Some of the scenery:

Trail sign
CCRT post
Bob and John

I loved this sign that we saw at a point in the trail where you could step off it and into someone’s backyard. And it reminded me of the meme on the right that I’ve seen several times lately.


All day, we waited in great anticipation of Vivian and Jeff’s (my sister and brother-in-law’s) arrival as they made the 13.5-hour trek up here from Greenville, NC.

Vivian is turning 60 while she’s here (on Thursday), and her “peeps” made her a birthday basket full of snacks and spirits to take on her trip up here, and she brought a special bottle of champagne that we’re going to drink on Thursday.


Today was a good day.


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Our month on Cape Cod—day 16

~Sunday~ Bob made breakfast for our guests today—scrambled eggs & sausage. I buttered and lightly pan-toasted some massa—Portuguese sweet bread. We served it all with a side of mimosas.

Before they headed back to Dorchester, Boston, we made the short ride to Nauset Beach so Maggie and Phil could see the beach.

We saw a bunch of birds out a ways on the water, and a seal very close to shore. I hope it was on high alert:

Great white sharks hunt seals in shallow water at this beach.”
Shark lunch!

Sign of the times

And down on the beach, we saw this perplexing sight:


That bird had one broken leg, and it was chowing down on that young buck.


Maggie and Phil headed out from the beach. Back at the house, Bob and I had a relaxing afternoon that included a nap and a game of IRL Scrabble accompanied by happy hour.

For dinner, we had the leftovers of the meal Maggie made and brought yesterday.

In the evening, Bob (re-)watched Airport, and I finished my 61st book of the year, Olive, Again.


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Our month on Cape Cod—day 15

~Saturday~ We had planned to check out the meat raffle to see what it was all about, but when we got to the Eastham Elk’s Lodge, where it’s held, there wasn’t anyone there.

Our next stop was going to be the Eastham Superette to pick up some champagne—in it, or in the attached liquor store—and to see what they actually carry in that little store for future reference. Outside the Superette was this little gem of a sculpture:

“Cape Cod Gothic” – 2016 (Anita & Seymour Codd)
Jamie DaLomba – Metal Sculpture Art; JJ Welding – North Eastham
Also nearby, I cannot lie, was this intimidating street.

and coming out of the store, we noticed that the Eastham Windmill, which we had planned to check out at some point, was right across the street. Also on “the green” near the windmill was a “Memorial Buoy Tree,” which is a tribute to its deceased creator, Eastham native James Filliman, who was “a clammer, a builder, a beach walker and collector, who enjoyed using things he found in nature.” Read Jimmy’s obit, if you’re interested.


Maggie, Bob’s niece—his oldest sister’s daughter—and her partner Phil arrived today from Dorchester, Boston for an overnight visit. Maggie’s a chef for a living, and she brought dinner!

Sweet Potato Cottage Pie: Spicy ground beef with olives and raisins topped with whipped sweet potatoes; Cauliflower: Roasted with browned butter, cilantro, pepitas, and lime; Mixed Greens: Pumpkin spiced-pecans, cranberries, crumbled goat cheese.

After dinner and many cocktails, we played a fun game during which we laughed and laughed and laughed:

“What’s something you do that’s irresponsible? was one of our questions, which led to hilarity.
Saving pennies on the penny

Here are some of the words contained in our collective responses. Two of them were kind-of popular:

It was a real fun evening—laughing a lot and learning a lot about each other. And bonus—we got an extra hour of sleep afterward.


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Our month on Cape Cod—day 12

~Wednesday~ We’re getting excited about my sister and her husband coming up in a week-and-a-half, and she and I had a discussion last night about a couple of things.

She’s going to bring some food when they drive up, and she asked if I was still dieting. To which I responded with: “This is our ‘snack corner’ of the counter. Does this look like I’m still dieting?” ☺

The reality is that I am eating this junk, but I’m also practicing portion control when doing so. There was a time when I would eat a whole bag or container without giving it a second (or first) thought.

Another thing we talked about is that there are essentially 2 primary bedrooms on the first floor—with a trade-off situation. One has a TV in it, but its bathroom is smaller, with only 1 sink. The other one doesn’t have a TV in it, but its bathroom is bigger, with 2 sinks.

We asked them if they have a preference, because we don’t care. We’ve been in the one with the TV, but we haven’t watched it at all, and won’t. (We don’t have a TV in our bedroom at home.)

They chose the one with the TV in it, so Bob spent some time today moving us from one room to the other. These are the “after” pictures:

Bedroom with the TV, but a smaller bathroom
(it’s ready for Vivian & Jeff)
Bedroom with no TV, but a bigger bathroom
(we’ve moved into it)

We check our home cam each day just to make sure we’re not missing anything. We told our neighbor to feel free to park in our driveway so that it looks like someone’s coming and going there during our month away. It always makes us smile when we see their car there.


Bob always checks to see if he’d be mowing the lawn or how many leaves he’d be raking if we were there.

I always check to see if our across-the-street neighbor is still parked on their lawn at their front door.

I had a late/early meeting with a colleague of mine who works in Australia—7 -8 a.m. (tomorrow) her time, 5 – 6 p.m. (today) my time, so there was a slight delay to the start of our happy hour today.

Tomorrow’s my “virtual Friday” leading into my long weekend.


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Our month on Cape Cod—day 9

~Sunday~ At about 9:30, we headed to Fall River, which was about a 1.5-hour ride. This is the city I grew up in until a year before we moved to North Carolina when I was 13. For the year right before we moved, we lived in Coventry, RI, which we’ll visit when my sister gets here early in November.

Our first stop in Fall River was to the Notre Dame Cemetery, where both sets of my grandparents are buried. We had a hell of a time trying to find my paternal grandparents’ grave (just like I did last year—and never did find it), and it turns out the person in the office had given me the wrong plot information—think way off, like on the opposite side of the cemetery.

Thanks to my cousin, Sandy, who volunteers there and who was in touch with us yesterday with a picture of the headstone, and who provided us with the correct section and plot number by text today.

Another of my cousins, Patsy, met us there, and together we located the grave. We’d brought some cleaning materials with us, and Bob ingratiated himself to my grandparents by spit-shining their headstone.

And as it turns out, my grandfather did have a middle name, which means my father really wasn’t a junior, but since I seem to be the only one devastated by that, I’m just going to let it go.

We also found (and cleaned off) my paternal grandparents’ grave, where I said a quick, socially distanced prayer.


Our next stop was for lunch at one of our favorite childhood eating haunts, and we passed Fall River’s “flat iron building” on the way. Doesn’t every big city have one of these?

Lunch!


They had a buy-5-get-1-free special, which we couldn’t resist. I got “sauce and onions” on mine (they don’t call it chili; they call it sauce), and Bob had ketchup, mustard, and dill pickles on his.


We wanted to stop at Amaral’s Portuguese Bakery while we were in town, but they were closed today. Fortunately, while at the cemetery together, we’d ask Patsy about places to get some sweet bread, and she said they actually sell Amaral’s products in the grocery stores, so we stopped at a Stop & Shop and bought some of my Portuguese/Fall River favorites:


On the way back to the Cape, just outside Fall River, we passed an exit that was very close to my Aunt Rita’s house, and I wanted to make sure she and Bob met, so I gave her a call to see if she was home and up for a short hello from outside.

She was, and we did. Love her to pieces.


An hour-and-20-minutes later, we were back in Eastham, just in time for happy hour, after which I had to have something for dinner on those sweet rolls we’d just bought. And what could be better on a Portuguese sweet roll than some chourico (Portuguese sausage)!

I know you’re glad this day and blog entry are over. If I say Portuguese one more time…


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Uncle Frank’s Memorial service, a lunch recption following, and my birthday…

Though my alarm was set for 9:00, I was up at 8:00 after about 10 hours sleep. Felt good.

Aunt Annette and I had coffee and cinnamon toast, while we talked about the updating of her will, which she wants to do soon. She expressed concern about not having a co-executor to name, and I told her she was welcome to list me as the co- or contingency executor, if she wanted to.

She seemed incredibly relieved and grateful.


Karen and Joe arrived at about 10:00, and the rest of the crowd trickled in between 10:45 and 11:15.

One family member, Gail, after saying she remembered me when “you were this high,” asked, “How old are you now?”

I wasn’t thinking and started to say 50, and then stammered, “Actually, 51, today. Today’s my birthday.”


Uncle Frank’s memorial service was in a little catholic chapel, and everyone—around 15 of us—sat, what reminded me of, on “the bride’s side.” That is to say, we were all on the left side of the church.

Ironically, in retrospect, the “guest of honor” was up on the altar on the other side of the church—the box, and small bag of cremains.


I had so many mixed emotions sitting through mass. It’s been forever and a day since I’ve been, and I’m pretty sure the last time I went was for the funeral of co-worker’s daughter ten years, if not more, ago. Some of my thoughts, not necessarily in the order I had them:

  1. I can’t believe I remember all of these responses… “Thanks be to God.” “And also with you.” “Through Him. With Him. And in Him. In the unity of the Holy Spirit, all glory and honor is Yours, Almighty Father, forever and ever. Amen.”
  2. I’m surprised these people behind me know the words, too. I’m quite sure most of them do not attend mass regularly, if ever.
  3. What is it about humans that they would choose to return to a place, from which so much pain has emanated, for some “closure.” “The catholic church” was a huge reason that my aunt and uncle gave up their daughter for adoption. It’s never been kind or welcoming to me as a homo.
  4. Did he just say, “…our parishioner, Frank…”? He wasn’t a member of this church.
  5. I wonder if that priest has ever done or said anything inappropriate to that altar boy.
  6. That’s all that’s left of a life. That box and little bag over there.
  7. Should I take communion? The “rules” say I shouldn’t. Will there be so few people taking it that it’ll be embarrassing?
  8. Oh my. There are only kneelers on the first row. I wonder how many knees we’re going to hear creaking as everyone kneels, most of us all the way down to the floor.
  9. When the priest said, “Can I impose on someone to bring the gifts to the altar? My first thought was, “Oh no, they are not going to pass the basket.” and then “Do they mean move the cremains to the altar from that table?” then, “OH, he’s talking about the water, wine and bread for the transubstantiation!”

After mass, we caravaned to the Hong Kong Buffet, which was one of my uncle’s favorite restaurants, where our party of 13-15 enjoyed a nice meal over the course of an hour or so.


We had just about an hour back at the house, just the four of us: me, Aunt Annette, Karen, and Joe.

I said my goodbyes to Aunt Annette, and Karen and Joe graciously took me to the airport.

I carefully guarded three books that Karen gave me that my uncle (her father) had written for her, and which I’m going to try to put on DVD.


My flights back were uneventful, albeit unexpectedly crowded for a Monday night. Perhaps because it was Columbus Day, a holiday for many business travelers, who were perhaps doing their normal Sunday night travel on Monday night.


I’m fifty-fucking-one.

Flying up to Coventry and hanging out with Aunt Annette, Karen, and Joe…

I was up at 4:45, and at the airport by 5:45. I parked in Lot 3, the “Purple Lot,” and was in line at U.S. Airways by 6:00.

I had my laptop, a suit bag, and a small bag that I’d normally take as my carry on bag, but was checking today, since I had three items. I was absolutely annoyed that I had to pay $15 to check that little bag.

Retrieving my stuff at the end of the security conveyor belt, I had walked around to the other side, since it was so crowded and shit was spurting out and piling up at the end of the belt, but within about a minute, Brunhilda came toward me, “Sir, I need you to move back around to the other side.”

There, I put my suit bag on the stack of empty containers, while I gathered my shoes, laptop, and the gray bin with my wallet, cell phone, watch, and change in it. “Sir, I need you to move your bag off the empty bins.” (There were two piles of empty bins, and no one was trying to put an empty one back on either pile.)

I made a face, and grabbed my bag, and then she began to wheel that stack of empty bins, which was on a dolly, and she ran over my toe. She knew that I had just about had it with her by then, and she said, “Oh, excuse, me. I’m so sorry, sir,” and went around me.

On my way to my gate, I stopped for a bagel, where the cash register had just “gone down,” and where the two people working there were trying to manage math in their head, using English as a second language to boot.

Overall, not a great start to my day.


We had an uneventful, on-time departure for my RDU to LaGuardia flight. The plane was small—two seats on each side of the aisle. The guy next to me was hot, but slept the entire time.

I devised my Thursday and Friday blog entries en route, and listened to Eva Cassidy’s Songbird CD on my iPod Touch.

I had seat 7A on both of my flights today, and my gate out of LaGuardia was Gate 1, with a 45-minute layover. I started on my PowerPoint presentation for my China trip while I waited, and pretty much got the first five slides done.

The flight from LaGuardia to Providence was on a tiny plane, nine rows total, and propeller-driven. Of the 36 seats, only 13 were occupied, so we had plenty of room to spread out.


That flight arrived 30 minutes early in Providence, which I still can’t quite figure out. Something was wrong there. The flight time I had in my Palm Pilot was from 9:30-10:54, which is nearly an hour-and-a-half, but I’m quite sure the flight attendant (and later the pilot) said that it was a 45-minute flight. And then we landed so early, which was more in line with the 45-minute announced flight time, than the time I had in my records.  I checked my printed flight reservations and sure enough, it stated the flight time as one hour and 25 minutes.

I don’t know. Who cares. It’s said and done, and I arrived safely.


After retrieving my bag, I found Aunt Annette and Karen, and after tearful hello hugs, we headed back to Coventry.

Before we unloaded my stuff from the car, we walked across the street to Annette and Frank’s three-car garage, which Frank was going to make into a little retirement house for them, where Karen’s husband, Joe, has done a phenomenal job in going through.

My uncle had an incredible collection of all kinds of things for stone masonry and building. Piles of hammers, piles of chisels, piles of trowels, and piles of a lot of other such things. All kinds of leftover wood, wires, drills, saws, huge buckets of nails, screws, four or five gas containers, four tool boxes, and a huge stone cutting machine with diamond-edged blades on it.

Joe is such an incredibly nice guy and has been working over the last several weekends clearing out and straightening up the amazing collection of clutter that the place had become.

I took a compass that was laying on my uncle’s work table. It’s one of those old compasses that used to be used in math classes—V-shaped with a steel point on one end and a little pencil stuck in the other end.


I also took a key chain that says “Açores” on it, and has an eyeglasses screwdriver hanging on it. Both my uncle’s and my dad’s heritage is from the Azores Islands of Portugal.


After checking that out, Karen, Annette, and I came back across the street, where I unloaded my stuff, and the three of us enjoyed cocktails and some snacks.

Uncle Frank’s cremains were on the table, most of it in a good sized black box, and a little bit in a red draw-strung bag. The box was for Annette. The bag for Karen.

Around the next May timeframe two things will happen with them: (1) Most will be buried at a local cemetery, and (2) Karen and my aunt will go to Arizona, and spread a bit of them in the Grand Canyon.

Karen and Annette brought out a stuffed quahog with a birthday candle stuck in it for me, and I said before blowing out the candle, “To my favorite uncle in the whole world,” to which we all smiled through tears.

An hour or so later, Joe came back over, and we had Bacalhau—a delicious Portuguese cod fish dish that my aunt made, along with some mashed potatoes. Yum. Yum. Yum.

For dessert, we had some most delicious pistachio cake, made by Karen, also served with a birthday candle in it, and all of us sang happy birthday to me. 🙂


After that late lunch, we walked back across the street to see the work that Joe had done while the three of us were drinking and snacking earlier, and it was incredible how much he’d gotten done in that little bit of time!

We walked around the back of the place, and checked out the piles of stone back there, and talked about what the little house that my uncle had planned to build was going to look like. He had it all thought out, of course. Karen kept saying, “Every time I see this, it just breaks my heart. He had this all planned out, and it would have been done, too, if all of this hadn’t happened to him.”


Back at the house, we sat around the table upstairs, and Annette and Karen detailed the final week with my uncle. It was an incredibly taxing week on them, extremely painful for my uncle, and left him so sad in the end as Karen was the only child that visited him during his time in the nursing home and at home under Hospice care. Heartbreaking.

Later in the evening, Karen and Joe, especially Joe, told a lot of funny postal stories, most of them about dogs, as they both work for the U.S. Postal Service—Joe still a letter carrier, and Karen working in human resources now, but having been a carrier for eleven years.


Karen and Joe left at about 8:30, and by 9:00, Aunt Annette and I had both retired to our rooms.

I checked in with Robert by phone, finished this blog entry, and then worked for about an hour on my PowerPoint presentation for my China trip.