| The theory: It’ll be so lovely sitting around it, with the flickering flames and the crackling sound — so romantic and relaxing. The reality: Somebody’s ass will be getting up every 30 or so minutes to stoke that fucker, or it’ll die out or worse yet, start smoking up the house. |
The theory: With the sun on our skin and the breeze on our faces, we’ll be one with nature. People will notice and envy us — like we’re rockstars. The reality: I can’t hear you and this damn wind is messing up my hair even with the extra-hold gel in it. |
The theory: The soothing sounds will bring us a sense of calm and peace, and they might bring some good luck and ward off negative energy. The reality: That damn thing is keeping me awake at night, and today we got a complaint from the neighbors that it’s annoying AF. |